All My Life
by Mona Love
Summary: Season 5, Servants Ball.
1. Chapter 1

_Forgive me, my dears. It's been a long while since I've written anything, so I'm a little rusty. Just getting back into the swing of things. Hopefully this will be spicing up in later chapters. Of course it will be, who am I kidding? ;) Here is my payment, klswhite ;) ... Mona xoxo_

The lights of The Great Hall are shimmering brightly against the priceless artwork and antiques. Every candle is lit, a colorful bouquet gracing each table. The fireplace flickers it's light along the gleaming wood floors while the family and staff spin happily across the great expanse of the room. It is the night of their annual ball. A gift from their family. His family. Having performed his customary dance with her Ladyship, Charles Carson stood solemnly in the archway, his gaze upon the woman who, for quite some time now, had been occupying his every thought. He watches her, so beautiful tonight, her curls looser and moving softly as she glides across the floor. Mr. Branson holds her in his arms, guiding her around the room and talking animatedly. She smiles brightly, and he can almost hear her laughter rise above the smooth melody being played by the band. Her dress is new, a silken dark green that flows gently over the curve of her hip, lays tightly against the swell of her breast, flutters softly about her strong and graceful legs. He really should stop staring, but she is enchanting. Elsie Hughes is as beautiful to him as the first time he saw her nearly thirty years ago. He was already Butler by the time she came to fill the position of head housemaid. He was rigid, restrained, and still mending a broken heart. Elsie was smart, eager, and more lovely than any woman he had ever seen. She held herself with pride, dignity, and professionalism, making her all the more appealing to him. She was a force to be reckoned with, all wrapped up in a spirited and beautiful package. He had avoided those feelings and pushed his regard for her aside. He kept himself steady on his own, never knowing the true steadiness that could be found by simply taking her hand. He smiles to himself as he watches her. It's funny to him now, that he once thought he'd never fall in love again, when he knows she's always had the keys to his heart. She has always been the only one for him.

She catches his eye as the song comes to an end and she thanks Mr. Branson for the dance. Charles realizes he is smiling soppily at her, and he doesn't think he minds at all. Not when she's looking at him so intently, her lovely lips curled slightly in a half smile. He clears his throat and pulls at his waistcoat as she approaches him. Without a word, she stands at his side, their arms pressed gently together. Always so close now, and yet he finds it still not enough. He's not even sure he would know how, he only knows he'd give up forever to touch her, to taste her, to have her breath upon his skin. They had come so far, yet he had still not made a declaration, had not told her the feelings that were in his heart. It was incomprehensible to him to think simple words could express what he felt for her. Just a year and half ago, her hand in his was almost his undoing. She had meant to steady him, but instead had turned his world upside down. Or had she righted it? The predictable life that thrived on style and show, order and restraint, had now found itself coming second fiddle to his heart. He braved a glimpse down at her to find her staring back up at him. He feels the weight of her stare, the sparkle in her deep eyes almost daring him to speak. He thinks she would be a fool to not know what was in his heart, and Elsie Hughes is no fool. He smiles back and hopes that she can see right through his now paper thin walls.

He pulls himself up to his full height and bravely offers her his hand. Something he's wanted to do each year, but had never thought it proper before now. Or was it that now, he could not find it in himself to care what the others would think? All he knew was that he would not let another year go by without asking her. "Shall we live a little, Mrs. Hughes?" He attempts to hide his smirk when her eyes widen in shock.

Elsie quickly finds herself and smiles softly as she slides her delicate fingers into his waiting hand. The warmth of his palm only a touch of the fire burning so strongly between them. It's not like her, being unable to find the words. She always has a witty response waiting. Part of her armor, she thinks. Yet another way she saves the fragile heart that beats beneath her stern exterior. The walls that have been slowly tumbling down between them, are now dust beneath their feet as they approach the floor hand in hand. He stops and turns, pulling her close and wrapping his arm around her. His touch is warm against her back and she inhales sharply as a shiver runs down her spine. In his arms, and eye to eye, they need no words to pass between them. He raises their joined hands to his lips and tenderly kisses her fingers as they slowly begin to move...


	2. Chapter 2

They are swept up in each other for a long moment. Her eyes shining brightly, her lovely face glowing amidst the sparkling light of the great hall. She blushes and looks down at his chest, smiling softly under his adoring gaze. The same shy and adorable smile he's seen a thousand times, the same one she gave while checking her hair in the looking glass. Always as beautiful to him as if it were the first time he's witnessed it. Always stirring deep feelings of longing and lust. At last, at long last she is in his arms. This beautiful woman who has shown him how to live, and how to love. He cannot say all the things he's dying to say. He just holds her near, and there is nothing else, no one else. The passing of time has done so much to them, for them. He never thought he could feel a love so tender, that he could ever let his true feelings show. For so long he has needed her. Always her friendship, and now he longs for all of her. There's not a part of her he wants hidden from him. He longs to know her deepest secrets, her greatest desires. The way her hair would look falling around her shoulders. How it would feel tangled around his fingers. He longs to touch her innermost heart. To taste her soft skin. To dry her tears. To be the reason behind her smiles.

Though no words are spoken, he has never expressed more to her than he has in this very moment. The touch of his lips to her hand, a promise, an oath, a declaration. She wills herself to not let her tears fall, fighting hard to hold back her feelings as she has always done. It all feels like a dream and she wonders if she is really here in his arms. Overcome with emotion, she attempts to concentrate on her feet. One, two, three, she mentally counts her steps, bringing her back to reality. Her face and chest burning with embarrassment as she realizes they are, of course, not alone. This is not the time to brush him off with one of her silly comments or reprimands, nor can she just walk away. A mechanism she often used to cope when things became too real between them. This moment was actually happening. He was giving his heart to her...finally. So full of love she can hardly breathe, a lone tear escapes down her cheek.

He watches her as her lips purse and her face reddens in embarrassment. He had not meant to cause her distress with his actions. Was he wrong to ask her to dance? He had not intended to make such a public declaration by kissing her hand. He was simply living in the moment for once in his life. "Mrs. Hughes." He says softly and full of love, willing her to look up at him.

She lifts her gaze to meet his as a single tear trickles down her cheek. The reassuring smile she gives him could light up the night sky. It is one filled with love and understanding, comfort and hope. He returns her smile with one he prays conveys his bliss and utter relief that there is a chance she will accept him. Will still have him after he's made her wait so very long for this. The music stops and he knows they must let go of one another. He needs one more moment to appreciate this darling woman before him. He squeezes her hand gently, while the hand on the small of her back presses against her for a second more. She softly grasps his hand tighter and feels the gentle pressure briefly increase on her back. Her other hand rests on his shoulder, and her fingers grip his jacket tightly before sliding down his arm, secretly signaling that she feels the same way too...why must it end? He gently drops their hands and reluctantly frees his fingers from hers, excruciatingly slow, because the moment they release it brings them back to their reality, that they must return to their roles as Butler and Housekeeper.

The ball is winding down. After having made a small speech of thanks to their loyal staff, Lord and Lady Grantham make their way upstairs to retire. They are soon followed by the remainder of the family as the staff slowly begin to collect trays, glasses, and linens, on their way back downstairs. They all move together like a well oiled machine. Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes guiding them with gentle motions of hand or quick instruction. Soon the Great Hall is cleared of all indication there was even a gathering tonight. Charles glances around the vast and empty hall, smiling to himself as he looks out upon the floor where he just shared his first dance with the woman he's loved for so long. As he flips the final switch and dims the lights, he silently sends up a prayer that that woman would be waiting up for him downstairs.

TBC..

_Hmmmm...what does one do when they've lost all confidence in their writing? I swear it's like chipping away at stone with a limp noodle. __I've lost my mojo :-/. Sorry this took so long to update {and there probably wouldn't be one at all if it wasn't for my buddy Peeks - Thanks gorgeous!} :)... I'll keep at it though, and I'm hoping it will come back to me soon. Wish me luck, and thanks for still sticking around with me... Though I won't blame you if you've jumped ship ;) ~ Mona xoxo_


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